This is an opinion cartoon ‘poop cruise’ horror story.

Ship happens. And then Netflix produces a documentary about it.

Trainwreck: Poop Cruise is the new Netflix doc which revisits the 2013 chaotic voyage of the cursed Carnival Triumph through the eyes of some of those poor souls who were on board.

At 55 minutes, it’s a quick trainwreck that you can’t look away from … but it’s not without humor. I got a kick out of the Carnival staffer who was excited about all the sex capades going on until … the unpleasantness.

Not to give anything away, but if you’re trying to cut down on your intake of lasagna, this flick will do the trick.

John Sharp wrote about this in his AL.com story: Carnival Triumph: How Mobile became safe harbor for infamous ‘poop cruise’ in 2013

Excerpt:

“Two days after Mardi Gras in 2013, national media descended on the Alabama Cruise Terminal, awaiting the nighttime arrival of a crippled cruise liner carrying 4,229 weary passengers.

“Hundreds of miles away in the Gulf of Mexico, what began as a dream voyage to a Mexican paradise had turned into a nightmare. The Carnival Triumph, stranded after an engine fire on February 10, was adrift without power, air conditioning, or functioning toilets.

“Red biohazard bags were handed out for defecation—a grim image that earned the vessel its infamous nickname: the “poop cruise.”

Read all of Sharp’s story here.

Today, I present a play-by-play of the events as they emerged from my drawing board over a two-month period in 2013.

Sadly, after the passengers were showered, fed and happily skipping home from their grisly nightmare, the Carnival Triumph’s horror story would continue for another 82 memorable days in Mobile.

The last three of these cartoons pick up where the Netflix documentary ends.

This first cartoon was simply titled: “Ship happens.” The italicized text is from the brief snarky essay I wrote for each toon at the time.

Love stinks. No – that’s just the Carnival Triumph “poop cruise” ship docked at Mobile’s Alabama Cruise Terminal.

To 4,000 vomiting feces jockeys and urine surfers, Mobile will forever be the most beautiful city in the world.

Thanks, Carnival.

Thanks, Carnival. Compared to your stinky Triumph misadventure and PR debacle, the city of Mobile smells like a rose. The world knows us to be gracious, friendly and downright pretty. Right, Erin Burnett?

About that stink. Carnival now has about as much panache as an outhouse floating in a swimming pool.

Triumph is dry-docked in Mobile and has to be – yuck – de-pooped. Who’s up for the job? Is there an elite arm of the military for deep-cleaning?

SEPTIC Team 6, we need you.

A colon cleansing, paint job and name change is not enough to save the Carnival Triumph, a.k.a. the “Turdtanic”, “The Poop Ship”, etc.. This ship is cursed.

In February, the ship made national headlines when it was towed oozing and stinking into Mobile Bay, carrying a cargo of folks festering in its foulness. Since then it’s been sitting in punishment at BAE Systems in the Mobile River for all to see, like a sinful beast in shackles.

Last week, the beast made headlines again when it broke loose and wreaked havoc in Mobile Bay, banging into structures, other vessels, injuring at least one man and leaving another man dead.

It’s now sitting in shame at the Alabama Cruise Terminal near downtown Mobile.

It’s time to go Old Yeller on Triumph. Put the rabid dog down.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: That Carnival ship is cursed.

As fire exploded all around last night, the Mobile River looked like a famous scene from a classic Stephen King horror movie.

One theory says the explosions were caused by a “static charge.” Hooey. Don’t know exactly why or how, but those explosions were caused by the ship formerly known as the Carnival Triumph. It may as well be covered in pig’s blood, as far as I’m concerned.

That ship is “Carrie.”

There will be no peace in Mobile Bay until that horror flick of a ship is gone.

JD Crowe is the cartoonist for Alabama Media Group andAL.com. He won the RFK Human Rights Award for Editorial Cartoons in 2020. In 2018, he was awarded the Rex Babin Memorial Award for local and state cartoons by the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists. Follow JD on Facebook, Twitter@Crowejam andInstagram @JDCrowepix. Give him a holler @[email protected].