DEAR MISS MANNERS: A very long time ago, my husband and I were invited to dinner at a restaurant by a colleague of his. I had not met the colleague or his wife prior to the dinner.

The men promised they wouldn’t talk shop, but they did — throughout the entire meal. There was no inclusion of us women. I tried to initiate a conversation with the wife, and she shut me down immediately with something along the lines of, “I’d rather listen to what the men are talking about.”

Gobsmacked, I just shrank back in the seat and ate my dinner. As my husband and I were leaving, I told him what had happened and he (rightfully) said that we’d never do that again. I should have gotten over this by now, but I fantasize about having left the table in some way. What should I have done? I didn’t want to be rude myself.

GENTLE READER: Are you talking about a very, VERY long time ago? Because Miss Manners remembers those days — when wives, if invited at all, were treated as table decorations to be talked around.

But didn’t we have a successful rebellion against that? Apparently not successful enough, if it is now a wife who treats her guest like that. She need only have said, apologetically, “Sorry, I’m listening to them.”

There is no need for you to fantasize about reacting effectively, and yet not rudely, because you already did: first by your silence, and then by your and your husband’s resolving never to socialize with them again.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.