DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was on a flight and sitting in the aisle seat. The middle seat and window seat were occupied by strangers. The plane had landed, and people were standing in the aisle waiting for the door to open. I remained seated, waiting for the aisle to clear.

The woman in the window seat reached over and poked me, telling me to stand up. I have severe hearing loss. I wear a hearing aid and an implant. I’m not sure if she had been trying to tell me this and I hadn’t heard her.

I was infuriated. I told her, “Don’t poke me. Don’t touch me.” I thought we learned to keep our hands to ourselves in kindergarten. What would Miss Manners do?

GENTLE READER: Poking one’s seat mate is not allowed, Miss Manners will agree.

However, while she realizes how difficult it is on airplanes these days to locate space for all of one’s body parts, you are going to need to find space to put between your reasonable frustration with your seat mate’s misbehavior and reacting with full-throttled fury.

Holding your arm, and not instantly complying, will make the point that attack is not the best way to obtain compliance. It will also prevent things from escalating and allow you to take into account that your attacker might have a pressing medical concern.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.