Auburn rejected Kevin Steele as its football coach, and now he’s back to haunt the Tigers for that decision as Alabama’s defensive coordinator.

Awkward.

Auburn fired Bryan Harsin to hire Saban’s old coaching kryptonite, Hugh Freeze.

Spicy.

The only thing that could make this soap opera of a football rivalry we call the Iron Bowl more sensational is if Harsin…

OK, let me just stop right there. Some things are too debased even for me to write, and that’s saying something because I once wrote an entire column from the outdoor smoking patio behind the SEC offices about “Backdoor Bryan.” There were the alley dumpsters, the burning of cigarillos and me, a columnist seated on the back porch of the rearview of SEC history.

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Auburn chose Harsin over Steele back in 2020 and now Steele, Saban’s original defensive coordinator at Alabama, is back with the Crimson Tide to exact even more payback from the Tigers. It’s an interesting reunion in more ways than one, of course. If Steele is Saban’s final defensive coordinator after all these years, then maybe it’s true what they say about the cyclical nature of time. Our first days will always be just like our last.

Hopefully for Saban’s sake he wins more than seven games in his final season in Tuscaloosa.

Everything comes full circle in the SEC, though, which is why this conference is the perfect allegory for the Southern condition. See, there’s the human condition, and then there’s the Southern condition. The human condition is characterized by mankind’s struggle for survival in a savage world. The Southern condition is characterized by your ex-lover (Steele) going on Facebook and posting pictures from the mountains (Tennessee), the beach (Miami) and then your lifelong rival’s living room … and you paying for all of it.

Saban hired Steele over the weekend to replace former Alabama defensive coordinator Pete Golding. Golding is at Ole Miss with Lane Kiffin, who coached at Tennessee and Alabama, but apparently turned down the Auburn job before it was given to the old Ole Miss coach. And the circle keeps spinning round and round.

This is Steele’s third time to coach at Alabama with Saban. After being paid to leave Auburn in 2020, Steele was the interim head coach at Tennessee (2021) and then the defensive coordinator at Miami (2022). The point is this. The revenge reunion tour of Steele and Saban should remind us all to never steal your boss’ hammer on the last day of work.

Some Alabama fans might not be happy with Saban rehiring an old assistant who wasn’t good enough for Auburn, but Steele is a great coach and his defenses always play hard. This is a critical offseason for Saban, and he needs to know his defense is going to be fundamentally sound and without too many questions. That’s because the other side of the ball is a bit of a mystery.

To fill the void left by former offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien, Saban is apparently settling for Tommy Rees, who was Notre Dame’s OC last season. Rees is 30 years old, and reportedly wasn’t Saban’s first choice. Is that cause for concern? From this perspective, yes. For the first time in a few years, Auburn has a more experienced offensive mind than Alabama.

This is the first time Saban has had to replace both of his coordinators since he lost four coordinators following the 2017 national championship season. That year, Mike Locksley and Brian Daboll were co-offensive coordinators and Jeremy Pruitt and Tosh Lupoi were co-defensive coordinators. Alabama was fine then, and I’m sure Alabama will be fine now.

Personally, I don’t care who the coordinators are at Alabama because, knowing how Alabama operates from the inside-out, the value of anyone in that building matters little compared to the guy in charge. It’s not a democracy. It’s Saban’s offense and it’s Saban’s defense and those things don’t change much at all with the guys who come and go through the revolving doors.

Rees is going to run Saban’s offense. Steele, who is 34 years older than Rees, is going to run Saban’s defense. Like last season, if either one of their units becomes inconsistent, then that’s on Saban and no one else.

The biggest challenge facing Alabama going into this offseason was finding a replacement for outgoing quarterback Bryce Young. Who’s it going to be? That looming question remains going into spring practice.

Rees ran LSU coach Brian Kelly’s spread offense at Notre Dame, so I’m inclined to believe that a dual-threat quarterback is going to be Alabama’s first option. Maybe that’s Jalen Milroe or maybe it’s someone else. When it comes to Alabama’s offseasons, here’s what really matters. Saban’s latest recruiting class features nine players of five-star distinction by the scouting services. That kind of talent makes it easier to rotate through new assistants year after year.

Steele is not a new assistant. He’s just back to settle a score and punch a few more holes with that old hammer.

Joseph Goodman is a columnist for the Alabama Media Group, and author of “We Want Bama: A season of hope and the making of Nick Saban’s ‘ultimate team’”. You can find him on Twitter @JoeGoodmanJr.