DEAR ABBY: I have been in love with a man for more than 30 years. We never married, but he calls me his wife. I’m aware of his infidelity and accept him as-is. I am also involved with my youngest child’s father, who I have also been around for 15 years. I’m caught between the two and can’t find the way out. My child’s father provides financially, but emotionally the man of 30 years is who I want. My problem is, he won’t commit. Please help. — TORN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TORN: If either of these two men wanted marriage, it would have happened years ago. If you really want someone to build a stable future with, look for someone who can give you more stability than these two “prizes.” Find a man who is available and willing.

Right now, you are just treading water, which will get you no further than you are today.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.