Dear Eric: I need advice from an outside perspective on how to handle my future sister-in-law. She’s always taking pictures of family/friends but always seems to exclude me.

At church, she wanted a picture of my fiancé and their mother; I understand she only wanted them in the picture. But even my future mother-in-law suggested that she take one, including me. She didn’t, of course, and that’s OK, to a point.

This isn’t the only time she has snubbed me. Her daughter recently had a baby and I asked to be included in her baby shower, but, somehow, I was overlooked and it was never mentioned again.

I did give her a gift, after the fact, but it had sat there for over a month, since I wasn’t included in the shower.

At their mother’s birthday party last year, she took pictures with, and of, everyone. Except me. There must have been 75 people, so I can see how she could overlook me.

I’m just not sure how to handle being snubbed by her. My fiancé never mentions her behavior and almost seems oblivious. I realize how other people treat you is more reflective of their character, but it still makes me feel left out. Do you have any suggestions for me?

– Out of the Frame

Dear Frame: First, I acknowledge that if you’re feeling excluded, that’s valid and it’s worth paying attention to. That said, I’m curious about why your future sister-in-law’s inclusion holds so much sway. Perhaps she’s the family photographer and so not taking photos of you amounts to a kind of erasure or delegitimizing of your relationship. Or perhaps you really just want her to like you.

All valid, but unlikely to be fully solved without a little bit more digging. Is the rest of the family welcoming to you, or does your fiancé’s sister’s behavior reflect the vibe of the whole family tree? If you feel shunned by the family overall, that’s a good thing to bring up to your fiancé.

Even if it’s just about the sister-in-law, talking it through with your fiancé is a good start. His obliviousness feels isolating right now, so loop him in. Even if he says it’s nothing to worry about, he should take your feelings seriously and can, hopefully, do things to make you feel included at the next gathering.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.