DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should pie a la mode be served on a plate with a fork, or in a bowl with a spoon?

I am always frustrated when I am served a dessert topped with a scoop of ice cream on a flat plate with a fork. The ice cream invariably melts and is impossible to eat, especially if the pie is warm!

When I suggest that it should be served in a bowl with a spoon, I am told that is not how pie should be served. What says Miss Manners?

GENTLE READER: That the fork and spoon are not like a couple who had a nasty divorce and are forcing their friends to choose between them. Rather, they are like a couple who should be invited together, unless there is an obvious reason to ask only one of them.

For people, such an occasion might be a ladies’ spa day, where the husband would not be invited. In the case of flatware, the analogous dish might be ice cream alone, where the fork would be superfluous. (Miss Manners will refrain from the case of ice cream forks, because she hasn’t seen a lot of them around lately.)

So both fork and spoon should be provided when the dessert has both gooey and dry elements. They may be used separately or together, with the fork in the left hand and the spoon in the right. You might want to eat the ice cream before it collapses, because you should, indeed, use a plate for pie — to avoid squishing it into a bowl.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.