Dear Annie: My husband is in prison. I don’t want to get into the details about why he is there. It’s mostly for context. My mother-in-law has told me that him being gone has affected her more than it has me because she’s his mother and nothing will change that. I can throw him away as my husband, but she can’t throw him away as her son.

But I’m navigating life without him, and it’s hard. I was pregnant with our second child when he was arrested. Our older child was 6 years old. We still speak, and we are not divorced.

How do I deal with what my mother-in-law says when she screams at me that this whole situation is worse for her? I didn’t know we were competing, and quite frankly, we are both losing, so I don’t know what she wants me to do. She insists I always say it’s worse for me but never gives me a “For instance” because I’ve never done that. That just tells me she doesn’t think I have any right to be affected by this.

My husband’s sister has also been getting on my nerves.

She’s gone on medication for anxiety and depression since my husband went to prison but won’t go to a therapist, and it shows. Nobody thinks she should have to because she has a master’s degree in psychology. She’s not a psychologist or anything. She has degrees but won’t use them. Should I just cut off contact with them? — Family Drama

Dear Family Drama: You’re absolutely right. It’s not a competition between you and your mother-in-law — or anyone else in your family, for that matter — over who is in the most pain. The next time your MIL goes down this road, acknowledge her feelings but don’t feel like you have to diminish your own. If this continues, take whatever distance you need to protect your peace of mind and your children’s.

The same goes for your sister-in-law. You can’t control how she decides to cope with this situation either, but you can put boundaries in place so that it doesn’t negatively impact you or your kids.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].