Dear Annie: I broke up with the mother of my children two years ago. We have had a very rocky past. I treated her badly for the first couple of years, and we separated for two years after our first child was born. We got back together 18 months later.

We were together for seven years on our second stint, and we had another child. We eventually didn’t work out when my job took me away and she refused to leave her mother.

Now I am treated like a criminal. I don’t get to see them and am only allowed to talk to the youngest one, and that’s only once a week. The mother refuses to work with me on a fair schedule, and the courts are so backed up it may be another six months before I can get a court date.

The mother isn’t a good person, and I fear for the way my kids are being raised and what they are being told. I’m at a loss on what to do while I wait for the court date. — Concerned Father

Dear Concerned Father: At least you’re honest, admitting that your treatment of her was not good, so you can understand why she is keeping you away. But if you have really changed, why not write her a letter explaining what was going on in your life? Send her flowers; send the kids gifts. You might even try to have a calm, quiet conversation with her mother as well. Try courting them a little, rather than waiting for your day in court. If you are successful, you won’t need it.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].