Dear Eric: Sitting there bored and hoping to be ignored is me at get-togethers like meals or parties. I have poor hearing even using fine, well-adjusted hearing aids. I’m generally unable to follow one person. And groups never.

I’d much rather be reading or off busy at some hobby, but that would be impolite and inconsiderate of guests. Bad! But they are being inconsiderate of me, and that’s somehow OK?

My wife helps me by repeating snippets or an occasional question if one is asked of me. Avoid those situations? I do it when I can. Otherwise, the only solution that seems acceptable is me wasting an hour or two just sitting in noisy silence trying to look awake and involved: laugh, smile, or frown when others do. Even that fails should I misread the crowd. Do you have any ideas?

– Happy Alone

Dear Happy: It’s not inconsiderate to be mindful of the body that you’re in and the things you need. That may look like telling your wife that social get-togethers are out for you. Which is absolutely fine, as long as you’re happy doing other things. If she won’t accept that, you can talk it through, but you can also be firm. This is what feels right for you.

Another option is restructuring the get-togethers to better accommodate you, which your friends and loved ones should do. Writing down comments and conversation or using a speech-to-text function on a phone or tablet could help you feel included. It’s not too much to ask. I’ve had terrific conversations with hearing-impaired friends using the Notes app, for instance.

Part of the beauty of get-togethers is the opportunity to create a space that meets everyone where they are. For some that means making accommodations for hearing, for others it might be preparing special meals or providing childcare. If you want to be there, they can and should think creatively about how to make that possible and enjoyable. Your wife can help in moving this process along.

But again, if you’d rather be reading a book, don’t deny yourself that enjoyment either. The most important thing is to be vocal about what you need so that those who care about you can help you to get it.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.