DEAR ABBY: I have been with the same man for three years, and we have been engaged for a year. I love him with all my heart, but I just learned through a phone call that he has been fooling around with men from the internet. I have also seen some messages in his email.

Does this mean he is bi and never told me? I don’t know what to do. Please help me before I make a mistake. — HURTING IN LOVE

DEAR HURTING: What this means is your fiance is either bisexual or gay. For both your sakes, tell him you know what has been going on, because if he’s unfaithful now, marriage vows won’t change him.

Ask your doctor to test you for STDs, and then call off the wedding so you can find a mate who will be faithful — and he can find a relationship in which he can truly be himself.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.