Dear Eric: I have a widowed friend we’ll call Vivian. Since her husband died a few years ago, my husband and I have invited her to have dinner with us on several occasions.

Recently, I invited her to join us on a certain Friday. I asked about 10 days in advance, and we then settled on a time and restaurant. Everything was fine until about three days before our date. I got a text from her saying that her nephew was coming to town, and she might have a family obligation on Friday. She would let me know whether or not she could make “our date.”

I don’t understand. She makes the date with me and then decides this may not work? My husband said that Vivian values her family over our friendship. Your thoughts?

– Dining Alone

Dear Dining: While I understand the disappointment of canceled plans, I think your read of Vivian is a bit uncharitable. If her nephew doesn’t live in town, it stands to reason that she doesn’t have as many chances to see him as she does you. I’d hope you’d be happy that your friend gets to maintain family connections.

Your friendship isn’t in competition with Vivian’s family. They are separate relationships, each with its own importance. But, resenting her seeing family members indicates an insecurity that could poison your relationship. So, don’t let it. Right-size your feelings about this, suggest a few dates to reschedule, and wish Vivian well at her family event.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.