Dear Eric: I’m gay and a dad. Recently, my 16-year-old’s phone was connected to the car display, and I noticed from a notification that he had changed his phone contact for me from Dad to my real name and changed my husband’s name to Dad. My feelings are hurt. Am I overreacting or should I have a discussion with my son about it? I can’t stop thinking about what could’ve happened to cause this change.

– Used to be Dad

Dear Dad: I understand why this hits a sensitive spot for you. Your relationship with your kid probably continues to change and develop as he moves toward adulthood. And I imagine there have been people at various points in your life who have questioned the legitimacy of your family structure. But you know the truth: you are your kid’s dad, and you always will be.

So, what’s going on with him? Probably nothing. Maybe it’s funny to him that when his father calls, his full government name pops up on the screen. Maybe he’s experimenting with being more mature and testing out new nomenclature. Our phones are places where we deposit the weird insides of our brains, and it doesn’t always make sense to the outside eye.

I’m curious what he calls you when speaking to you. Are you still “Dad?” Or has that changed, too? That’s a better measure, I think.

But the best measure of the strength of your relationship is your actual relationship. Try to put aside the hurt; chalk it up to teen capriciousness. Mention it to him casually if you’re nervous that it means something bigger. “I see you changed my name on your phone. Any story there?” If he gives that textbook teen response “Nothing” (or its cousin: a shrug), let it be just that.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.