DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I do not eat out often, but when we do, we like to go to a nice restaurant and usually have a bottle of wine.

One thing that annoys us is when the server stops by frequently to refill our glasses (often when they are still nearly full). Not only does this interrupt our conversation, but it feels like they are trying to get us to finish the bottle more quickly.

What is the best way to let them know we prefer to pour our wine ourselves?

GENTLE READER: Put your hand over your glass and say politely, “Thank you. I am not quite finished with this glass and we don’t want to trouble you, so we can pour the remainder ourselves.”

Miss Manners will join you in hoping that the waiter does not react poorly to being admonished for simply doing his job — for instance, by continuing to pour right over your hand.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.