DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife has a terminal illness and has been undergoing treatment for several months. Many of her close friends have been very generous with meals, cards and flowers, for which we are both grateful and appreciative.

Early on, a former colleague of mine (from 14 years ago) learned of my spouse’s illness and signed up via a meal service application to bring food during the tougher treatment weeks. She will also sometimes drop food or items at our front door, which we only find hours later.

Most gifts are lovely, but it is getting to be too much. Last week, she dropped off three new hardback books — which my wife cannot hold, due to her weakened condition. Earlier this week, she brought food that none of us could eat, due to the restrictive ingredients that she didn’t notice in the meal sign-up application.

Today she dropped off 15 magazines. Again, this is very thoughtful and generous, but now I have to spend more effort and time to dispose of or donate these items. Thankfully we were able to give away the food that we couldn’t eat (after my spouse had a single bite to enable her to write a legitimate thank-you note).

I’m hoping the gifts will stop soon, but is there a way for my wife to diplomatically say, “You’ve done enough; please stop!” in her next thank-you note?

GENTLE READER: Not only is it possible to put a stop to it, it is necessary, as the last thing your former colleague would want is to make the situation worse.

But Miss Manners wonders why you would wait for your wife to write the letter of thanks. You can relieve her of some etiquette tasks as surely as you can pick up the items left at the door.

Call the gift-giver at once to explain your gratitude — and your practical limits.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.