Dear Eric: I began dating a very nice man a few months ago. He is pleasant, cheerful, respectful and good-looking. Any woman would fall head over heels in love with him. But not me. I need to break up with a very nice man, and I don’t want to hurt him.

All our conversations revolve around him. I’m an audience for him, not a partner. He seems to have zero physical attraction to me. And he’s made a few comments that make me question if our core values are farther apart than I thought.

But he is in very poor health, and I am worried that any emotional stress could impact his health. How do I break up with him without hurting him?

– Painless Breakup

Dear Painless: It’s a cliché but “I think we’re better as friends” still works. You can, if you want, go into the ways that you’re incompatible with each other. But you really don’t have to. Part of having adult relationships is knowing that dating doesn’t always work out. You can be kind and respectful while still being clear about what you need.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.